I’ve always thought about starting a blog that focused more on my experiences and what they have taught me along the way, than it did on current events or cynical sentiments. One that, although based on my experiences, could still provide the insight and inspiration necessary to help someone else conquer whatever they were facing. However, I have always been too scared/ashamed. Until now.
My recent 24th birthday was the kick in the ass I needed to get going. You see, for some reason, this birthday hit me pretty hard. I wish I could have just stopped at 22, because 21 was amateur hour, but 23 was just another year older. But, now I am 24, and I can seriously say that I am starting to feel old. Pathetic? Yes. It is. But so far my 20’s have not been like an exhilarating episode of Sex and the City. They have been an exercise in finding out who I am, and where I really should be. I think I’m getting a grasp on who I am, most days at least, but I still have no idea where I should be. I feel like I am missing out on something I am meant to do, or somewhere I am meant to be, and that being stuck in law school in Nebraska is absolutely not what I should be wasting my days doing. I could kick myself for hitting 24, and realizing that I wish I would have truly followed my dreams back when I was 18 and fresh out of the prison that was high school.
But… I have so much to be thankful for. I am halfway done with law school, which is no easy feat in & of itself. I also know (for the most part) what is important in life: Helping others and being happy. I had always told myself that law school was perfect for me, not because I believed it would truly make me happy, but because it was a way for me to make enough money to be completely independent (I have divorced parents, enough said), and eventually a way to single-handedly adopt a nugget from India (will explain later). But I don’t think being a big-time corporate attorney would ever make me happy. I wish I would have followed my passions years ago–music, acting, & writing. But after being a dancer for 16 years, and being told that I could never make a solid living from that, it really had me thinking that creativity and/or performance art wasn’t going to put food on the table.
But, I also am lucky…to be more healthy than I was back in high-school/college. It has only been a couple years since I’ve been eating-disorder “free.” I’ve seen a handful of people I know, even a couple friends, lose their life to eating disorders. It’s not easy to conquer, and I’d be lying if I said it’s been easy. Change is never easy…but that’s what makes it necessary. I still worry a bit too much after I’ve over-eaten, but I don’t ever purge and I don’t ever starve. I am proud of that. I am proud of who I used to be, because I believe it took years of suffering for me to now realize how important it is for me to reach out to younger girls; I have the real life experience necessary to help implement change. This is why I’ve recently decided to support this incredible organization– “I Am That Girl”– http://www.iamthatgirl.com. Check it out. I also follow NEDA, the National Eating Disorders Association. Truth is, I have way too much experience with eating disorders and the negative effects of media to keep all of my unfavorable experiences to myself. There is something else, that I have never, ever, admitted out in the open. I was sexually assaulted in college, and by someone who was supposed to be one of my good guy friends. It happens to so many people, especially in colleges, and therefore is another issue that needs to be addressed and talked about. It is long past time that victims of sexual assault step forward; it is the perpetrators who deserve the shame, not us.
So, in a nutshell, that’s where this blog came from… A desire to encourage people to seek happiness, not wealth, and an enthusiasm for changing the way that young women view themselves. Anyone (or anything) that purports to stand for “perfection” is a liar.There is no perfect body, nor perfect height, nor perfect weight, nor perfect family, nor perfect relationship, nor perfect race, nor perfect job…the list goes on and on. However, I am confident that this blog stands for one basic, beautiful truth. It’s in all of the imperfections that make up You. Because you are imperfect, but there is only 1 of you…so make it count.
Welcome…to Truth In Imperfection.