Since I am waiting in the Omaha airport to hop on a flight to Houston before I fly to Liberia, Costa Rica, it seems only right to complain about my check-in and security experience. While I am a frequent flyer, it never fails to shock me-TSA workers are dicks. Correct me if I’m wrong but when I pay $800 for an international flight, or even $200 for a domestic, I am a customer…not a convict. I just decided that I need to be rich. Why? Because I am going to buy my own plane. I want a comfy seat, sans excessive germs and smelly people, and I want access to numerous types of “diet” soda…because in a fat America, having only diet pepsi makes no sense. I want a sexy, cabana-type pilot who will sing me show tunes at the drop of a hat, and I want a smoothie machine right on board. Nothing too fancy, I just think these adjustments make sense.