It’s June and wedding season is in full swing. And for some reason, Nebraskans between the ages of 18 and 23 take full advantage of this opportunity to spend the little money they have on what is sure to be only the first of their failed lifelong commitments. Meanwhile, wise people like myself sit back, keep a running tally, and watch the divorce statistic grow rapidly. Sure, one or two of the 15 weddings I am invited to this summer actually will result in a lifelong marriage, but it is in properly assessing whether or not such is probable that you should pick and choose which ones you attend with caution.
Why? Because wedding presents are not cheap, especially if it’s a broke younger couple who is hoping to stock their kitchens with shiny KitchenAid products. Moreover, with younger newlyweds, it is likely the bar will NOT be an open one, and I could not imagine a wedding reception that didn’t include free booze. Count me out. You also can’t be the dick who doesn’t bring a gift. So, in summary, if you have a feeling the marriage will actually last, and you have a hunch that you won’t be buying yourself champagne all night, pick up a $.99 hallmark greeting card, pop in a $10 bill, and enjoy freeloading on the most important day of someone else’s life.